51 more days to go
by sudoku
Summary: The diaries with countdown for the boys and Penny before they come back from the Arctic. Now is Sheldon and Penny's turn. The first part was written on August 1 so just assume the second part is. Inspired by the secret diaries.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing (well, nothing that has to do with BBT).

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August 1, 2009

We've been away more than 2 months but it felt like 2 centuries. Einstein is right that time is relative. Twenty minutes with Summer Glau (before Howard ruined it) is like 10 seconds whereas one minute with Sheldon is like watching Star Trek 1 marathon for 10 hours.

Only 51 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, 8 seconds to go before I don't have Sheldon micro manage me for 24*7. Some scenario is worse than what you could've imagined, this is one of them. I do hope that I will be born not only like a well-hung billionaire in the next lifetime but a smart, athletic, good looking and can-talk-to-women billionaire for 3 lifetimes, instead of 1. It's only fair.

Well, to be fair, things weren't so bad until we drugged Sheldon with valium. He got suspicious whenever we gave him food or drink. It got trickier but we still managed, after all our combined IQ are higher than his. That and also we know that he can't deviate from his regular schedule.

I think since Sheldon can't trust us, he chatted online more with Penny. I guess he ordered her around a lot. I think he even asked her to sing Soft Kitty for him. If only he allows us to feed him valium voluntarily. I guess she is the only friend he gets at the moment. We are merely his "colleagues" and part of his team so to speak.

Howard is all talk about shooting Sheldon with a crossbow but he mentioned about can't let his mum visiting him in jail, too embarrassing even for him.

I think Leonard is thinking about Penny right now by the way he is wearing the Snuggles, that or he's feeling really cold, not that the Snuggles will help much. Howard is considering bolting out of the door to meet girls but Sheldon is stopping him. If we can come back without any murder or even injury, that will be a miracle (or good karma).

On positive side, I have a lot of time to Tweet and chat and know a lot of girls. I wonder why they think I need to drink to chat online. If only I can talk to them in real life once I come back. Only 51 days to go to find out. That and I can't wait to watch the Star Trek movie and of course to be free of Sheldon.

PS: My parents still keep ordering me around but I've the excuse of bad Internet connection whenever things get a bit too much.

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August 1, 2009

I'm very pissed not to be able to chat up with more women today. Stupid Sheldon with his stupid endless tasks. He said something about not thinking with my brain and didn't have my priority right as a team player but that's to be expected with "oompa loompa of science". He even dared to ask me whether I had my refund from MIT. Oh, the crossbow is ready, I even make 2 more for Leonard and Raj. Sheldon asked if I want to test the crossbows. Oh, I think that is an open invitation for shooting him. However, Leonard suggested we didn't go to extreme violence so perhaps drugging Sheldon first would be preferable. Drugging him does provide a lot of entertainment as he said things that he normally wouldn't say, the things about his family and surprisingly a lot about Penny. Apparently Penny is his first girl friend, not mere acquaintance. Let me rephrase, I meant female friend not girl friend romantically. The boy friend spot of course is reserved for me. The good thing about not using the crossbow is of course don't need to go to jail, I don't want to go to all men jail without any access to women. If I were to go female prison, then perhaps thing wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps I should consider working in an environment with lots of women. An engineer for "America's Next Top Model" perhaps?

Another way to annoy Sheldon is apparently to hint some spoilers for the Star Trek movie. It's not listed in his contract that we shall not spoil him with Star Trek so technically he can't give us strikes. I think he must have regretted not to put that in the contract but too afraid to put a new contract as we may drug him even more.

I wished I've brought more valiums, I think there's only 8 left and we still have 51 days left.

I guess Sheldon feels isolated, not that it matters to him much but he chatted and played online game more with Penny nowadays. Raj is unusually chatty and even got to know a few women. I would pay to see him (not) chatting up to them when he's back. Leonard as usual being the most sensible and try to neutralise most conflicts. He felt jealous about the time Sheldon spent online with Penny though. He mentioned that Sheldon understood the meaning of friends with benefit now and he's spent the night at Penny. I wonder when it happened. It might be the cold causing Leonard to hallucinate. I guess that's reason he's wearing the Snuggles tightly lately.

I miss the presence of females (women here don't count as they wear too much layer but I'm not choosy if any is available), Penny, CalTech, even my mum. Long distance call is different from short distance yell. Despite my claim to Sheldon about indifference to spoilers, I really want to watch the new Star Trek movie too.

* * *

August 1, 2009

It's hard to be most sensible person in a group. It really is. You just try to do that when one of your friends is being impossible and another friend intend to kill the former mentioned friend. I'm pretty sure the court still sentences an attempted murder. After all an attempt is just an action that has not succeeded. I think my explanation has finally come across Howard's skull. He mentioned that we can make it look like an accident but there's no way a crossbow wound can be inflicted by accident. Actually if he pretends to hunt for polar bears he might but I've better keep this idea to myself. I still need to share the apartment's rent with Sheldon, unless Penny wants to share with me. Bad thought, Leonard, you're not thinking of getting rid of Sheldon so you can share an apartment with Penny, are you?

I still can't believe Sheldon spent more time online with Penny than with us though. I'm of course used to all Sheldon's idiosyncrasies but a guy has his limit. I can't really blame him though as we often drugged him as he claimed so he couldn't trust us. I think he overreacted though. I think we only did it four times in the three months we've stayed here, that is like 22.5 days once, far from often. He should be grateful compared to the alternative, aka being dead. Some of the things he said when he is drugged are downright funny but I'm surprised that he actually puts Penny in high regard as a friend. This happened before anyway. He chose Penny over Raj. I still wonder why having more than 4 friends is a herculean task.

Well, Raj is being sensible as well. At least he didn't annoy people or plot to kill someone. He is actually very normal here, he doesn't suffer mutism. That figures though. There is no attractive woman here although Howard disagrees about that. At least Raj and I can present food or drink to Sheldon. Somehow Sheldon distrusts Howard more although Howard is the most adamant against using valium out of us three.

I like to work and feel warm at the same time. That's why I often wear the Snuggles. However, I often earned funny and pitiful looks from all of them, even Sheldon, who doesn't care for appearance. Despite its ugliness, it's actually not bad. I certainly won't buy it myself but since it's a gift especially from Penny, why wastes it? It still has a bit of Penny's scent (vodka plus vanilla). Well, I do miss her but whenever I mention that I earned even more pitiful looks if that's even possible. To be fair, I miss everyone back in Pasadena plus the Star Trek movie. Sheldon and his timing is pretty bad. I thought someone with an IQ of 187 and love of Star Trek would think of a better schedule of leaving but apparently not. Ah well, there is only 51 days left before everything goes back to normal. As long as there's no murder happening here.

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Note: This is the first part of the fic. May do second part later. Feedbacks are very welcome.

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize doesn't belong to me.

_Note: Just pretend it's still 1 August and move on. I tried to complete this before I go overseas the day after tomorrow so it's unbetaed and done in a rush. Feedback about this fic is deeply appreciated and give good karma :-) If you pick up any mistakes, please let me know as well._

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August 1, 2009 12:10:00 UMT

The Arctic

Team Leader's Half Daily Observation Log

Target for the first half of the day's research is achieved. Very satisfactory. Would've achieved more if Howard and his conspirators didn't drug me. Apparently there is how they amuse themselves. Very juvenile. I'm disappointed in Leonard participating in it.

They think I'm afraid to give them strikes or make a new contract. However, there's not much point as they can't go anywhere. I can't simply kick them out of the hut to freeze to death. That will be anarchy and more importantly, no one will drive me if they die. I can't rely on Penny all the time. I believe Howard doesn't care about being kicked out as he thinks he can score with the women outside and live with them. He of course has as much chance as Leonard's winning a Nobel prize. Of course I keep track of how many strikes each of them earn. I'll surprise them when we return. They need a few lifetimes (well at least for Raj who believes in reincarnation) to reset the strikes. Mwahahaha. Howard has 187 strikes, Raj 34, and Leonard 41. Raj surprisingly has fewer strikes than Leonard. I must reevaluate his importance.

I think Howard is doing his best to be annoying. Today he already tried to tweet me with 5 spoilers for Star Trek. He knows I have to check my Twitter. Doesn't he think he spoils himself as well by spoiling me. So far, I can manage to filter his tweets but if this keeps going on, I don't know how he is going to reset his strikes. I need to put an extended lecture plus extra essays just for him. Perhaps I can ask him to test my food and drink (using different plates and glasses of course, I'm still sane despite my situation) so that he can redeem himself faster.

I noticed he had also been making 3 crossbows since we came here. Perhaps he thinks he can hunt polar bears with Leonard and Raj. He is wise enough not to include me as I will not participate in any outdoor hunting. I would like him to test out his crossbow so I can correct the physics. It's strange that when I asked him, he had this manic glint and muttering about if only he is allowed but Leonard won't like it. I guess either Leonard doesn't like the idea of killing polar bears or he has promised Howard that he can help with the testing so won't let anyone else help. Apparently he thinks his experimental physics is sufficient in increasing crossbow efficiency. Well, one less thing for me to worry then. Let lesser minds deal with matters of no importance.

I have chatted twice with Penny today. The time difference helps. She is definitely not a morning person. I have asked her to air the cushion, especially my spot, take our mails, feed my fish (I put it outside, she is still not allowed into my room). She said she knew what she was doing, after all, it's the one millionth time I told her doing the same thing. I know maths is not her strong suit but miscalculation by 999,905 is worrying. I suggested her to have a brain scan to make sure everything is OK. She said her brain is fine, something is wrong with my brain and with my whole being. I should give the result of my brain scan and my quarterly check up result to prove that I'm OK. I still have the proof that I'm not insane to show her since she keeps insisting I'm a whack-a-doodle, which is not even a word, but from the context she uses, I think she means I'm insane. Something is really wrong with her use of vocabulary. That is worrying, reduced functioning of logical reasoning and language. I will accompany her to the hospital when I come back, I will put it in my priority and she has agreed. After all, I want her to sing Soft Kitty which I need quite often lately. I think I miss home too much. I also still need her to rub Vapo Rubs when I am sick.

On the positive side, her gaming skill has improved so she still has some hope. She can still kick some asses (forgive my slang, but this is after all my personal diary so I can write whatever I want) at the Age of Conan. I would like to introduce her to the World of Warcraft but I simply just don't have the time to help her increased her level.

I realise I have spent more time with Penny (outside work) than Leonard, Raj, and Howard, although I stay with them. I know the cause really well though. I simply don't trust them after what they've done. Penny, despite her lack of intelligence, has not done any single thing to disappoint me on purpose. The panty pinata war was an exception and that was different, I also do things to annoy her. Besides, they don't really want to chat to me but Penny still wants to although with a lot of complaints.

I notice Leonard strangely hold on to the Snuggles tightly whenever I chat or play game wit h Penny. I think this must've some deeply behavioural trigger like Pavlov's dog. I know Penny is Leonard's imaginary girlfriend but I only chat with her, nothing more. I try to tell Leonard that his Snuggles stinks as he hasn't washed it by cringing my nose but he took it like I was jealous that I don't have the Snuggles. Who wants that unhygienic thing? I could simply tell him that he needs it to get washed but they already think that I have overstepped my team leader boundary so I'll try to convey the message using body language which he doesn't get. What's wrong with the people around me? Are they getting dumber? I think the answer is more likely yes. Unless I get smarter and the theory of relativity holds. Only 51 days to go before I go to watch Star Trek plus having Penny and my health check.

I'll go back to work now, will be back in writing the second half of the log at 8 pm.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper

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August 1, 2009

Gee, today is a long day, in fact like any other days I work in the Cheesecake Factory. I thought kids cannot get any nastier but they can. There must be some award about the nastiest kid, which they compete for. That or it must be some reality shows secretly shot in the Cheesecake Factory.

I thought I could go back home, drink diet coke, eat some cheap takeout, lift my feet on the coffee table, and watch some rerun of Grey's Anatomy and pretend I'm in the cast. But stupid old me had to check my emails first despite knowing what'll happen next. Surprise, surprise, Dr. Whack-A-Doodle is online and a few emails from Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. All the guys said hello (well Raj waved, that's counted as halo for him) at the web camera and they said they miss me and the warm Pasadena. They said that Leonard keeps wearing the Snuggles. Perhaps I should buy two as Leonard need to change. Back to Sheldon, he should know by now I remember what I need to do in his apartment by heart but he still thought I'm an idiot and give detailed instructions. Perhaps I shouldn't take any offence as he thinks everyone is an idiot, well Leonard less than others. He had the cheeks to ask me to go for brain scan and health check. Does he know how much I earn? I can only afford cheap takeout and next week's rent. I think he thinks I can simply borrow money from him whenever I need to. That is sweet and so 1950s, not that I know what happened in 1950. He said we can go for check up together and he can lend me money as health is very important and he needs me to be around for a long time. When I teased him whether it's a date. He said well, yes, technically we agree to go out together to know each other's (health, but I like to take one out) better so it can be defined as a date. Oh, that guy really has no clue.

We also ended up playing the Age of Conan (no surprise there, we play nearly every day). I must say I'm not a noob anymore and I can now give pointers to other noobs. Did I just use the word noobs? Ah well, never mind. I guess reading emails, chatting with Sheldon, and playing games while eating beats drinking alcohol, watching some rerun, and day dreaming. Perhaps that's the reason I check my emails first instead of taking the easy way out to switch the TV on. I think Sigmund Freud will agree (Argh, I hang around Leonard's mum too much).

If only 21 September will come sooner so we can have takeouts and watch TV together with all the boys. I miss all of them so much (I won't admit it to Howard directly but he can be funny if he was n't trying hard to hit on me). Only 51 days to go until they come back.


End file.
